I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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