So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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