True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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