u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
