Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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