i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
