The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
