you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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