I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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