I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
