the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
