I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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