One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
