we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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