I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize