THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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