I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I will pee on everything he values.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
