The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I fill condoms, not promises.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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