god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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