She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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