...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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