Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
