Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
