And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
