doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize