Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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