Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter

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(310): View more from California

Why did I cab home last night?

(1-310): View more from California

Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light

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(312): View more from Illinois

The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?

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