He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am available for nakedness
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
