it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
pop tarts are not kleenex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
