Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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