Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
