you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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