I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
