uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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