My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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