Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
