I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize