Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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