turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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