have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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