allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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