She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Floor bacon is actually really good
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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