The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
