...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
