then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
