You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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