Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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