Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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