I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
