Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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