So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
