I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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