On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
