Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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