I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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