Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
