i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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