everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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