He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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