I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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