dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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