Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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