There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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